There has been no new post on this blog for the past week. Reason being my wife and I went for a trip to Seminyak (Bali) for a few days with our good friends and their almost 2 year old daughter. We stayed in a 2 bedroom villa and had a great time brunching, wining & dining at different cafes & restaurants every day. The local food scene in Seminyak never ceases to amaze me and it is essentially a culinary hotspot with some of the best places to eat at in the region. We did some shopping and even got to take half a day trip to Ubud (Bali).
This break couldn’t have come at a better time. We had a bad time at work last week as some of our respective project deadlines were due and we had to wrap up quite a bit of stuff before going off on our holiday. We flew back to Singapore yesterday afternoon and it was our first day back in the office today. It sucks to be at work again after having such a nice time being away. But we are feeling better, more relaxed & recharged.
I’m not sure what inspired this post. Probably the difference in how I was feeling on a Wed night one week ago before the trip and one week later today after the trip. I can still remember how stressed out both of us were, how little we were talking to each other and how much we were arguing. This is what happens when things get very busy and shit hits the fan at work for both parties of a couple at the same time. You fight about more stuff (especially the little things), don’t communicate as much and your relationship suffers as a result.
It’s good to be honest about stuff like that. Too many couples don’t talk about the price they pay when both sides take on full-time jobs. It’s easy to focus on the financial and non-financial benefits such as dual salary income, higher spending power, higher savings & investments rate and wider professional & social networks. We don’t discuss the toll it takes on our relationship. My wife and I are particularly sensitive about this because it has always been about the two of us against the world. Each of our move from Melbourne, Sydney to Singapore required us to break down and rebuild aspects of our relationship, jobs and friendships.
It only worked because we had each other and we knew what we have is far more valuable than anything else. The key was always to protect our relationship first and everything else would somehow fall into place as long as we don’t give up. This is why it is important for us to know when to take a break. From the demands of the people around us and of ourselves. Whether they are the outstanding tasks assigned to us by our bosses & colleagues, the time & attention we devote to care for our families and the pressure we put on ourselves to meet our financial goals.
It allows us to reconnect and remember what is the point of all of this. It also brings some level of clarity to the direction we are headed in. The realisation that we cannot keep up at this pace for a long time. Eventually, we will have to slow down to avoid burning out. We have worked hard to put ourselves in a position financially and in our careers where we can consider not chasing for the next promotion or higher paying job and not having to take significant investment risks to grow our portfolio. Maybe it’s time to stop planning for the next thing and let nature take its course. At least for a while.
The work pace in Singapore is too fast and working hours are too Long. It’s nice to take a break once in a while to recharge and reenergize.
I totally agree! It was a big adjustment to the working pace and hours when I first came back to Singapore from Australia a few years ago. Not as bad for me now but it still gets to me once in a while!
We were in Bali for a week sometime in early march and it was a well-needed break. Hubby and I had been putting in long hours at work in the month of February and it was a good opportunity to recharge ourselves.
A break like this is always important, as it helps to prevent us from “breaking”. But then again, it will be somewhat continuous if we remain in the rat race, unless you manage to get out of it.
Totally agree and I’m glad that both of you managed to get away too! Bali is a great place to visit for a short trip to rest, relax and recharge. Yeah, I’m quite wary of burning out. Reckon it takes a long time to come back from that when it happens. Haha, I haven’t figured out what we can do if we stop working. Don’t mind being in the race while we figure that out but it does get tiring. Would be nice to have less and less financial stress & pressure to keep working though!
Hi Finance Smith
I know what you mean about not chasing promotions or higher pay. When you work at this sort of level in an FI, you reach a point where if you go beyond a certain paygrade the stress and workload my get too much to handle. Of course, this may vary from person to person but it is important to be aware if what one’s own threshold is and always never forget what one’s values are. And beyond these pay grades you may need to start doing things that are against your values or personality and we need to assess if the higher paygrade is worth it.
Hi Houston,
Yes, the stress and workload level does increase with each rise in paygrade. At some point, it might not be worth going after that promotion or higher pay as you said. Haha, or we can just find a way to survive and thrive on our current salary income. I’m sure that works too!
Hi TFS I understand how you feel. Whenever I read your non stock posts I feel that I can draw a resemblance to the work stress and resulting stress outside of work you feel. I hope you keep going. When the going is tough, the tough gets going 🙂
Hi Cheryl, yup, work stress is bad enough as it is. But it can creep into non-work stress as you try to maintain a life outside of work. Haha, we are still surviving so far!
Also, you guys earn more than $20k a month before age 30. I remembered you said it is not something special in the banking industry. But you should also be aware that there are many people who are underpaid even in the banking industry for the number of years they are working, so I don’t think its correct to say that it is not something special 🙂 $20k at age 30 is no easy feat, hence the stress that you are taking should be all worth it (in a way).
That’s true. We do acknowledge that we are earning above average pay. It might be we feel that way because the people we hang out with mostly earn more than us. I guess it’s a relative thing and it’s difficult not to compare yourself to the professional and social circles you are in when there’s a high level of interaction. But we should be more appreciative of what we have worked hard to achieve. Thanks!