My wife and I went for the Coldplay concert last night at the National Stadium Singapore with a bunch of good friends. We couldn’t get tickets closer to the stage because of the large group and ended up with tickets all the way at the back. Both of us watched Coldplay perform before at a concert in Sydney a few years ago. The seats were closer to the middle and the stage then. The show was amazing and one of the most memorable performances of any kind we have been to.
This time round in Singapore, we went in with relatively low expectations because of the seats location and acoustics issues with the venue. And we were pleasantly surprised to find the concert much more enjoyable than we thought it will be. It was excellent and considering how we paid S$82 per ticket, which was less than what we paid in Sydney the last time, the value for money aspect just made the whole experience even more worth it. This is a picture of the venue while we were waiting for Coldplay to come on to the stage.
Ok. I have dedicated the first 2 paragraphs and picture of this post to Coldplay. That’s enough of a tribute to the fantastic time we had last night. I should move on to the main topic. I like reading about news, articles & posts related to personal & general finance, career navigation, personal development & overcoming challenges and women empowerment. It’s a great way to spend my free time when I have nothing else better to do. After all, reading about what other people are doing is good but I much prefer we take action to improve our own lives.
The more I read, the more I come across narratives that we don’t agree or identify with. Which makes sense if you actually think about it. These narratives are formed from the personal experiences and stories of enough people that make them relatable and mainstream. But they don’t necessarily apply to us. These are some of the ones that we find ourselves going against.
1. Going to work in a day job sucks and we should have our own businesses or side hustle our way out.
This one annoys me to no end. It makes going to work every day sound like the worst thing that can happen to you. And it glorifies the ones that establish their own businesses or side hustles to get out of the “rat race”. Urgh. It’s true that we don’t skip to work in the office every day all happy and satisfied. But some of us actually enjoy what we do and the people we meet in our jobs at the organisations we work at. Not all the time. But enough to make it a worthwhile experience.
Our careers allowed us to live and work in Melbourne, Sydney and Singapore. We took advantage of the flexibility and transferability of the jobs in our sector to move around and gain life experience. Not going to happen if you just sit there, be lazy and whine about how terrible working life is. It makes us the rest of us look bad and as though we have no idea what we are doing.
2. You will have more time to do the things you enjoy, lead more fulfilling lives after you stop having to work at a day job.
Another common piece of advice to encourage more people to quit and pursue their dreams. It is very possible to work in a day job, still do all of the things you enjoy and build a more fulfilling & rewarding life. You just have to get better at time management. We are aware that we can allocate more time to productive activities if we spend less time watching Netflix and shows. We just happen to enjoy lazing around doing the latter sometimes. But we are not going to go around complaining about how we don’t have time to do things that matter just because we are tired and exhausted from work. We have seen many people rise above all that to engage in all forms of activities that contribute to personal development and community/society.
What we do in our free time is a matter of choice. Working a day job just means you have to learn how to use it more wisely and efficiently. Not having to work a day job just means you have more of the same resource that you still have to learn how to use effectively. Stop complaining and do more.
3. Women are underpaid because they are female and we should change that.
This really depends on the environment you are in and the country you live in. We can only comment on what’s it like in Singapore. If you are a woman and are still thinking women are being underpaid because they are female in Singapore, you are about to realise that this is more about you than the underlying issue of women empowerment.
In my work experience here, I have seen many women outearning their male counterparts with their superior capabilities and management skills. They are ambitious, driven and growing in numbers. Just because they are not visible in the mainstream media doesn’t mean they don’t exist. After all, why would they interview women who are actually making it if they want to reinforce the belief that women are still being underpaid because they are female.
Yes, having kids and building a family can cause the career of a working woman to plateau. But the key is for the husband and wife to work together to still dedicate time to the family and progress in their careers. Now, if you choose to give up your career and support your kids & family by being a stay at home mum, that’s a personal choice and one you are fully entitled to make. However, if you subsequently try to re-insert into the workforce at a later stage, of course you are going to be underpaid if you took into account the several years of work experience you had before stopping work. The same problem will exist if I gave up my career to be a stay at home dad and try to go back to work eventually. Or for a man/woman who is structurally unemployed for a long time trying to find work in a new industry.
4. Women are generally not interested in personal finance and we should change that.
Another half-truth. This statement is probably more true – Women are generally not interested in trading and investing in high risk financial instruments because they are more conservative. It could be because of the way men and women are wired. But the nature vs nurture argument comes into play because again, I have seen women who are excellent in trading and investing in high risk financial instruments. Maybe it just comes down to personal interest? After all, there are just as many men who has little interest in investments.
More importantly, this does not mean that women do not how to manage their money. They may not do it in the same manner as men and don’t tell the whole world about how they do it. Give women more credit. My wife manages her bank accounts less regularly and invests in ETFs (simple enough concept of risk diversification and market returns to get behind). She doesn’t like to invest in individual stocks because of the high level of research & analysis required. Just because she doesn’t know how certain companies/industries are performing, or even the fancy stock trading terms, doesn’t mean this is a problem to be addressed. If my wife isn’t interested, there isn’t anything anyone can do to change that until she thinks its important.
5. You can reach financial independence/freedom or early retirement by investing.
This is probably the most well-used line to sell any investing seminar/training/conference. It’s understandable why people buy into it. After all, we have been taught that nothing of value is free, especially when it comes to investing advice or techniques. The thing is, this statement might actually be true for a select few. The problem starts when you try to extrapolate the results achieved by the minority to the majority for a fee. It makes people take on higher risks with the absolute belief that they can make it as investors. They have faith that making mistakes, where small or big, infrequently or regularly, will eventually lead to success. They stop assessing their own situations impartially, fail to see warning signs and no longer listen to the criticisms and advice of their close ones.
I reckon what’s more likely to be true is that most people are not going to reach financial independence/freedom or early retirement by investing. That should be the first and foremost disclaimer stated at the start of any investing seminar/training/conference. Probably not the best way to sell it. But don’t forget, we are not the salesmen. We are the customers and have every right not to be mis-sold. On a side note, we should also remind ourselves constantly not to become the product, which might result in a far worse outcome.
More people can reach that goal by reducing expenses and increasing income. Investing can generate capital gains/passive income but it’s nowhere near what you can achieve with your human capital. The downsides of trying to achieve more capital gains/passive income from investing are far more significant than trying to achieve more active income. Unless you can come up with an investing technique that is so consistent in its returns and with an ability to predict the rise and fall of industry sectors. It also has to be coupled with such a high level of personal financial capital that you can ride the ups and downs of the markets without panicking and still stick to the strategy.
If you are betting on investing returns becoming your iron rice bowl, you are going to starve for a long time. Anyone who tells you it is the secret to not having to work another day of your life is lying to you. Focus on upskilling and investing in yourself. Whether it’s developing your career or setting up your own business. You are more likely to find success that way. And one final note. Don’t pay for anything you can google and find online. If you don’t even bother to search for the information online, attending that investing seminar/training/conference is not going to change anything for you.
We definitely agree on 1 and 2. Honestly if your not happy at least some of the time working it’s very unlikely retirement will make you more happy. What you do with your time is a choice, and only you can decide how to maximize that time.
Yup, working takes up a significant portion of our day. Might as well find a way to enjoy the work and after-work hours. If not, we are going to suffer big time during the weekdays and have no energy to do anything else on the weekends since we will be mostly resting.
i like your points. I think there are some of us who will fare better in a corporate environment and some who don’t. Go ahead if a business is our calling. Just don’t sit around waiting for retirement to start before life begins. Sometimes life ends before 65 as we know – premiums shoot up for after 65, and there is a reason why they do. We don’t have to be stuck in an unhappy job for too long – look around for a better one, minimise spending coz everything is a trade off.
As for your points on women – hmm, I think motherhood changed me. or gave me a reason to back away from being overly ambitious. I think in certain organisations being female is a disadvantage so much that certain females in managerial positions overcompensate by being more male-like – too objective, no emotions in connecting with team, too cut and dry. Which doesn’t bode well for leading certain teams. But you are right, we can’t want to step away from the job market for a few years and expect to be making as much as our peers. I think what we want, and this applies to both dads who stay home as well, is companies still willing to groom older employees. It’s sad when SAHM end up being low level admin or receptionists after a 10 years of working at home. Even though they had the necessary qualifications.
Yup, it’s a lot more difficult building a successful business than building a successful career. If we find ourselves more suitable for the latter, might as well spend more time and effort optimising our human capital potential than dreaming about the former. Unless we get forced into a position where we have no choice but to strike out on our own.
Yes, women empowerment is an important but sensitive topic. It’s difficult to approach because the needs of working and stay-at-home women/mothers can vary widely from their personal circumstances and environment. I have worked extensively with female managers and they have many positive attributes that may not be male-like but prove far more useful in senior management roles. However, you have mentioned the change caused by motherhood. This is perhaps one of the most significant moments of a working woman’s career. The choice to step back or step up, each with its own set of pros and cons.
But I have seen how capable working mothers can be when they step up. They handle stress & pressure better, more used to multi-tasking & taking on several roles, and connect much better with their teasm. We just have to keep encouraging that because corporate culture is only going to change to be more women-friendly from a top-down approach. Which means the more women we can encourage to take on senior management roles, the better the outcome for women empowerment. But the corporate world is punishing and it will not pay well for anyone who is out of the workforce for a long time. This applies to both men & women and I don’t see it changing anytime soon.