It’s the end of the week! I’m usually tapped out by Fri afternoon so I kind of just zone out, do some light reading and prepare for the next week of work. No point starting anything heavy since it just stresses me out over the weekend, which I want to relax and enjoy. Only possible because I’m in an advisory function within the Bank.
Knowledge-based job roles tend to have this utilisation buffer. Because knowledge builds on itself even if I’m not operating at 100%. I can control my workflow at a more manageable 75% during the week, ramp it up to 100% when there are urgent matters and slow it down to 50% when there are minimal issues. But still progress with each week because I’m learning as I go.
What happens is I get into this consistent hum of work activity each day and I can better manage the toll it takes on me. Office work as a corporate employee can be draining in so many ways if I don’t properly organise my day. Because my family life kicks in the moment I get home. And I can’t allow myself to be fully drained and take a complete rest.
There are so many things to do at home once I walk through the door back from work usually by 7.30pm every day. Baby to be fed or entertained, dinner to be served, talk to my wife about her day, dishes to wash, milk pump parts and bottles to be washed, wash or clear laundry, do a bit of exercise, etc. The list goes on and on.
Sure, I can wait for the nanny and my wife to do most of them if I wanted to. And it’s so tempting because I’m tired from work and just want to sit down & rest. So I have to force myself to help out even if I don’t feel like it. It’s difficult and not easy to do consistently every weekday. Gets even tougher when I had a bad day at work.
This is where having an after-work routine helps. Once I get off work by 6.30pm, sometimes I have to buy breakfast or other stuff back for my family, sometimes I get to go on the train without having to run errands. I let my wife know I’m on the train so she knows when the dinner timing should be for us to be able to eat together and chat.
I start thinking about the possible list of things I have to do later at home depending on how well or badly the day has gone with my wife and baby. I remind myself that I will only know when I get home. I let my wife know I’m on the bus so she knows I’m reaching home soon.
On the walk back to our apartment, I try to clear my mind of work stuff. And just before I turn the key and open the door, I focus on my wife and baby. From that point on, my night with them starts. I can tell from the mood and energy around the apartment how the day has gone. So I know what to expect and force myself to be more understanding if I have to when my wife seems to be more irritable than usual.
I help out with serving dinner so we can all eat together and catch up on the day. This is the most important part of my night – the 30 mins I get to talk to her by ourselves. About 15 mins on her stuff and 15 mins on my stuff. Then my wife goes to have her alone time now that I’m back home. While I wash the dishes and milk pump parts & bottles. If the baby fusses during this period of time, which is usually the case, the nanny takes of him.
I put in the milk pump parts & bottles for sterilisation and this is when I try to spend time with the baby. Provided he hasn’t fallen asleep by now. If he has, I try to unwind for a bit. Let time slow for just a while but not too much so that I don’t fall asleep or become lethargic. Because I need to setup the milk pump & bottles with a cup of warm water ready for my wife’s next milk pumping session.
After which I head down to the gym for a bit to get some exercise done while my wife is pumping milk. Then I come up to bathe, tuck my wife into bed and check up on our baby. He’s usually up at this time for feeding by the nanny and I get to play with him for a bit.
When they go to sleep as well, I wash the milk pump & bottles for sterilisation, stay up to blog, read up on news, watch Netflix/YouTube, browse Facebook/Instagram. And run personal finance errands like updating our StocksCafe portfolio for monthly investment plans ETFs purchases, amending & reviewing our net worth spreadsheet for changes. Think about how to improve our financial situation and what we can do.
The last thing I do is setup the milk pump & bottles with a cup of warm water for my wife’s next milk pumping session. As I get ready for bed, that’s when my wife wakes up to prepare to pump milk. I know this from the multiple 3 hour alarms she sets in her phone throughout the day and night. She’s groggy, tired and not in the mood to chat. I make sure she’s settled in then I go to sleep.
Sounds like a well rehearsed routine yeah. These sequence of events only just happened once in this manner with an overall positive vibe last night and I was so proud of myself. Nothing compared to what my wife is going through but I’m congratulating myself anyway. Otherwise, I will go crazy first before my wife. It took me 2 months of practice to get 1 night where it all finally fit so well together.
Every other night, I get a negative variation of some sort. I don’t focus in time and start drifting. It’s like I’m physically there but not mentally there. I forget to wash stuff and things are not ready when needed. We start arguing about small matters or talking over each other.
The baby fusses more than usual and we don’t sync up well with the nanny to take care of him. The baby sleeps more than usual and I can’t interact with him because waking him up after all the effort putting him down to sleep is not a good idea. Or I go through the routine and it fits but there’s a overall negative vibe because it feels forced and I just went through the motion.
Oh, and the nanny is going back to Malaysia for Chinese New Year. So I’m taking 1 week of leave and all the workload with the baby and around the apartment she has been bearing will flow to my wife and I. Possibly with me bearing more of it since I haven’t been able to spend much time with the baby. And it’s a good opportunity for me to do so but the routine that I worked so hard to achieve is basically out of the window. Now I have to restart and develop a new routine. Here we go again!