2nd retirement of my mother-in-law

My wife went out to have lunch with her mum and they are out shopping together now. It’s been a while since they spent some time by themselves. And both of them need it. Because my mother-in-law dropped some major news on us yesterday during the family dinner. She’s seriously thinking of retiring for real this time.

It was a bad week for my mother-in-law. We could tell something was up when she was holding on to the baby for so long. Even after the baby fell asleep and could have been left in the car seat and stroller by himself. It’s comforting to hold a baby in your arms and watch him sleep. Feels like all your problems just slip away.

We decided to indulge her even though our approach is not to carry the baby for too long in our arms. Just so that he can learn to sleep by himself. When my mother-in-law finally put the baby down on the car seat and stroller, she told us about how exhausting her week has been and how late she has been working. And her 2nd retirement intentions.

If you remember, my mother-in-law retired once before 2.5 years ago. It was after her bank got acquired by another bank and she had to work on the integration. As you can imagine, it was a nightmare integrating 2 banks with totally different cultures, values and beliefs. Staff on both sides was constantly causing problems.

Soon after the integration project was completed, my mother-in-law had enough of the corporate world and retired at the peak of her career. But this 1st retirement was forced out of circumstances and she left her career knowing she could have gotten more out of it.

My mother-in-law went on to engage in her hobbies such as painting art (created beautiful oil painting pieces some of which can be found around her house and our apartment), catching up with her friends and travelling. For 1.5 years. It was an amazing time but she was only 58 years old and still had so much to offer in terms of her work experience.

At 59 years old, my mother-in-law was headhunted into a bank after several rounds of interviews. With a remuneration package that matched her last drawn salary and bonus, which is more than what my wife and I earn combined. Almost unheard of in this day and age. When skill sets and job roles are made redundant at an accelerating pace.

My net take-home pay per hour is S$30 and my wife’s is S$50. Her mum’s is S$90. An achievement in itself. She was brought into this bank to work on a 1 year project, which has just finished. It has been a nice experience for her to get back into the swing of things, deal with the stress & pressure, expand her professional & social network and enjoy working full-time again.

But now my mother-in-law finds herself working on stuff she does not like as much. At the age of 60 years old, she could keep going if she wanted to. So what’s changed? It’s not about the money because she’s comfortable and has more than she needs. She’s satisfied with both the monetary and non-monetary rewards of having a good career.

We know what it is because we saw my mother-in-law getting more and more attached to the baby. He represents the next phase of her life, almost like a complete circle. She wants to help take care of him when my wife eventually goes back to work from maternity leave. We have another nanny and the helper coming in from next month for a while. So she’s planning to learn from the nanny along with the helper on how to take care of the baby.

She’s proof that it’s possible as a working mum to have it all. Just not at the same time. She was patient in going for what she wanted and achieved it one goal at a time. It was tough, difficult and there were many times she felt like giving up but she pushed on.

There are so many benefits of having a career mother-in-law who can support us in multiple areas of our lives. Tapping into her professional & personal network, advising us on our careers, helping us with buying groceries and taking care of the baby. The most important thing is being a role model and passing on her positive attributes to my wife. Let’s hope we make the most out of them.