There has been a whirlwind of events in the past week. After letting the helper go, I took over the night shift for the baby and still went into work. It was very tough to sustain and I was wiped out by mid-week. I was going into work late because I was helping my wife with the morning routine. And it was difficult focusing and getting stuff done in the office.
We knew it was not sustainable and was rethinking our decision to let the helper go after a week and a half. My mother-in-law had been speaking to the helper and us separately to understand what the issues were and whether they can be resolved. Turns out it’s mainly about being patient and managing expectations.
So we decided to give the helper another chance and let her come back mid-week. The situation has improved since then and she’s doing better in our household now. We are also doing a better job training her with clearer instructions and a more organised daily schedule of tasks. With an emphasis on the baby but also a greater awareness of the household chores.
It’s interesting how my performance at work started to improve once the situation at home started to stabilise. Goes to show that every aspect of your life is connected together and it’s about managing the balance of priorities. Otherwise, your life is going to spiral downwards quicker than you think.
The low point was on Wed night when I broke a glass cup in the sink even though it was the only thing I washed after dinner. My lack of sleep the night before combined with a bad day at work translated into a general lack of focus, distracted attention and a short temper. The helper had just returned and I decided to let my wife & her manage the baby and everything else that night.
I had uninterrupted sleep overnight for the first time in a while and things just started getting better after that at work & home. On Thurs, I got the news that my corporate maternity insurance claim had been successfully processed after fighting the insurer on a non-eligibility clause for weeks. The cash benefit claim was credited into my bank account on the same day.
My monthly salary was credited on Fri so it was like a double pay day because the amounts paid were quite similar. Things are finally looking up and I have time again today morning to blog. I seem to be falling sick with a bit of cold and fever but that’s probably the fallout from the intense week I had.
The good thing is that I’m in a position to rest while the baby and household chores are still being taken care of. I’m just grateful to have this luxury and thankful that I have been given the time to recover. I would like to think I’m not weak and I do contribute to the household. But it’s clear I still have room for a lot of improvement.
It has only been a week but I feel like we have grown just a bit more as a family. Anyway, my wife and I are going out to a steakhouse tonight for our Valentine’s Day celebration. There’s a whole bunch of personal care appointments we are going for this weekend but we are still taking the time out to date and catch up with each other. Looking forward to it!:)
Can understand how it feels to manage a helper at home. Am glad you decided to hire her back and things are becoming better. It is also very tough for her as imagine she left her family to come take care of another family in another country. It is very daunting which us entitled Singaporeans will never understand. Treat her well and let her play a big part in your family like having meals together, she will appreciate it and do better 🙂
Yup, understand what you mean. We are new and inexperienced employers and still adjusting to having a helper at home. But we are trying to improve. Especially on managing our expectations and treating her well as part of our family. Thanks!